Hahaha. Show Me What You Got.

I had a pit-of-my-stomach sickness earlier this morning. The kind of thoughts depressing enough to make me feel like I might throw up. As much as it pains me to give her this much credit, such thoughts involved my ex-wife and how things ended. It hurts me to think of how she and I both were such cowards. Her, for giving up, bailing out, abandoning something that is supposed to be permanent (even in this fickle, divorce-ridden day in age) and for childish reasons (i.e. she wanted to go be a child - live free and bone someone else she fancied). Me, for letting her go with little fight to no fight at all. As desperate a situation as I found myself, I did nothing. She said the word, and I gave a resounding, "So be it." It could be that my apathy had already set in because I knew it was coming. But this isn't an attempt to analyse (I spent several months of this past year doing more than enough of that). These are just thoughts that, thankfully, I don't have that often anymore, but nonetheless plagued my mind. I guess, even now, as much as I have learned what it is to positively and truly hate another human being and as progressive as my life has been going lately, part of me still wishes things had gone differently.

So, yeah, kind of a drag blog today, but I make no excuses, but I will make it up to you. Nothing but smiley photos:





Since I wrote this entry (I transferred it from my moleskin where I composed it), I feel much better. I don't know if God likes Public Enemy, but as soon as I finished writing, "Who Stole the Soul?" came on my playlist on my phone which made me feel rather awesome.